Looking for speakers for Birmingham Fail Camp 2010.

What sort of things are we looking for?

Whatever you want to talk about. If it relates to failure and you don’t mind sharing it, we’ll be interested, attentive and supportive. You’ll get ten minutes to present and then there’ll be some Q&A, feedback, discussion. (As Jon correctly pointed out in the comments section- single people talking would be a presentation, a panel requires more than one person. More than happy to have suggestions from a small group of people to have a panel discussion)

What to talk about?

Here’s some thoughts I’ve had around what I’d talk about if I were giving a talk.

“Ben’s Bad Hair Days”- I’d give a presentation showing that I’ve not always had a grade 2 buzz cut and groovy glasses & confess my bad hair/bad glasses combinations.

or I’d give this talk, a little more serious but fun still.

“The days the dreams changed”- Growing up I always wanted to do two jobs. Be a teacher or run a theatre company. They were my dream jobs, I’ve worked in both of my dream jobs. I no longer have either of those jobs, but that’s ok.

Email benjaminbrum [at] gmail dot com with the subject “Fail Camp” to get involved.

One for me then.

It’s a game of competitive ineptitude, the aim of which is to come up with the wrongest answer to each question. In this episode, the guests joining him to try and out-wrong each other with their ideas and stories are comedians David Mitchell & Rufus Hound and presenter Victoria Coren.

In this show the panel’s worst holiday experiences, the internet and Anthea Turner all come under the ‘wrong’ spotlight – as well as the guests’ best ideas for the worst new reality TV show. Will anyone beat Rufus Hound’s pitch – the primetime reality show Blaze Of Granny?

Catch up with it on the BBC I-player. Thank you BBC, two of my favourite things on one of my favourite places.

I could make something pithy and intelligent sounding about the reason behind the silence. Taking time to reflect etc. Truth is it’’s my own mini-failure. I didn’t save the admin address anywhere and didn’t want to admit I’d got something wrong.

So we’re back. Planning is going ahead for the event (hoping to announce an exact date soon) and looking forward to sharing failure with you.

Kate Bornstein speaking at reunion.

Kate Bornstein is a failure as man and as a woman.

She’s in her sixties and has been talking openly about her life as a trans person.

I studied some of her performance work and writings at university in my first year. She blew my mind. Imagine a boy from the Middle of Nowhere Wiltshire trying stuff out at university, discovering who I am, what the world is and then a lecturer plonks Kate Bornstein in front of me and says “Read”.

I like where she says “do anything it takes to make your life more worth living”. I also like how she says the F word and then asks for permission to say it.

Kate talks the language of theatre which is something I’m very familiar with. One of the greatest lessons I was taught was how to die on stage and get used to it. I remember in my second year of my degree we performed in Alfred Jarry’s King Ubu. I played the King of Poland but my character was killed fairly early on. I then switched coats and played someone else who was equally dispatched. I stood right up and popped on an eye patch, reversed my coat and became someone else who was quickly killed. I died around thirty times during the one play in various ways dispatched by various methods. Once I got over the initial discomfort of feeling “Gosh, I don’t get any character development” I got into the idea of just dying and from that I began to get over my fear of things going wrong on stage.

I then wondered aloud about how rich a seam #Travelfail could be.

So begins the bidding war. We’re looking for the worst travel experience you’ve had personally. We’re trusting people (so don’t start making stuff up just to get a mention on the blog).

The bidding starts with @danslee and

“standing in a tinkle smelling layby outside Halesowen for an #Ashes lift which is stuckinatrafficjam”

I’ll be watching the comments & the hashtag and we’ll close bidding in one weeks time. I’d also be interested to hear your thoughts on what you learned from #travelfail.

(::UPDATE:: Lots of people asked me why I wasn’t adding my UN stories. Firstly an auctioneer doesn’t always bid on their own items. Plus coming in with the stories would be like having an opening bid of five pounds and then someone bidding “One Thousand Pounds”. It’s more fun this way. Honest)

There used to be a statue called Forward by Raymond Mason that dominated the space. It was affectionately known as the jelly mould or the Lurpack statue. It was destroyed by arsonists n April 2003 and it’s never really been replaced.

Now, there’s just an awesome set of steps which are perfect for skateboarders to use. The fourth plinth in that London has had a bit of a fuss made about it and I’ve always pined for someone to make a bit of a fuss over the empty plinth in the city centre. If I’m ever walking down Broad Street towards the city I’ll imagine what the statue used to look like & feel a little sad when I see it’s no longer there. Yes, the statue was a bit ugly and it wasn’t 100% clear what it was about but it made a strong statement. It clearly had a strong impact on me as it’s left an imprint like the negative of a photograph on my soul.

I’d love to see something take that space. If it’s a direct ripping off of the fourth plinth project from London, great. But I’m fairly certain that the great minds of Birmingham could come up with something equally expressive of Birmingham for that space.

C’mon great minds, don’t let me down.

Who haven’t we talked about yet?

What kind of fail haven’t we mentioned?

What inspirational nonsense haven’t we looked at?

What conversations do we need to have?

The best people to advise us, is are you. (Grammatical fail, there) You might be thinking that your suggestion isn’t clever enough or nonsensical enough but it could be exactly what we’re looking for. Set us some failure homework.

Update- Don’t be limited by thinking we just need to see video on youtube. Are the filmmakers, inventors, singers, actors, fashion designers, films, songs, even places that embody the spirit of failure and learning from failure?

Sure we both have very little hair & strangely shaped heads.

He was thwarted by an evil girl called Lucy. I have a sister called Lucy. You make your own pop-psychological links.

Growing up I always wanted people to think I was a bit like Schroeder, I played the piano, I wanted to think I was cool but with my big head & funny hair I was always destined to be a bit of a Charlie Brown.

Enough of the revelations about me, here’s the inspirational nonsense.

Failure Face

Charlie Brown is a real hero of mine. No matter how many times he falls over kicking the ball because Lucy moved it away; he always comes back for another go, failing time and time again. His trust and faith in other people remains unshaken even though everything around him is screaming he shouldn’t run in for another kick.

It makes me proud to say “You’re a failure Charlie Brown!”.